Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Somewhere in Time

Ever have those moments when you feel that perhaps time has looped back around and you are brushing up against your past?

I'm having one. 

The Boys Fantastic are staying with us this week, as it is their spring break, and we have made a huge leap forward into those teenage years.  Because they stayed home {alone} while I went to work today. 

I was a bit uneasy, because we don't have a landline.  But we worked out a system where they would email me from my laptop every hour on the hour.  I *might* have warned them that I could tell from my work computer what was up on my laptop at home because I have a special program.  Since I do have gotomypc.com at work, and they have seen that I can access my work desktop at home, this was an easy sell.  I felt the need for such a dire warning because I'm still traumatized by some antics of their mother at the same age. Of which we will not speak.

They checked in with me every hour on the hour and a few times in-between.  They felt so big as we went over the house rules.   I felt somewhat horrified that I was leaving them alone but perhaps a little more horrified to think that they really are old enough to be left alone. 
I should say that I overslept {big hooray, because I haven't slept much since I had my steroid treatment} today, and I didn't leave until after 11 this morning.  They were home for 6 hours.  When I arrived home {with pizza in tow...as a good Grandmother would} they greeted me at the door, all smiles.  "We didn't even have a fight!" 

We must be living in the latter days. 

They asked to stay home again tomorrow.   Not without a phone.  So at 9 p.m., I joined the People of WalMart in my flipfloped, ponytailed, no-makeup, workout attired,  kids-trailing-behind-me persona to purchase a Go Phone.  Its been quite awhile since I've been to WalMart that late.  I used to go that late and often later.  That was back before I had adult supervision.  My adult supervision doesn't get out much past dark.  And in such matters, he tends to keep me on a short leash.

This felt so familiar and we had such fun.  The Boys Fantastic skipped off to look at the toys and video games and I made a leisurely run through Wallly World.  After I had made all of my selections, save the food, I gathered them up and we went to do the grocery portion of the shopping together. 

I'm not sure if I have copped to my height before.  I'm shy of being 5 feet tall.  Not by much, but I never quite made that whole 60 inches in stature.  Many, many things on shelves in Wal Mart and the world in general are out of my reach.

I'm farily adept at getting what I need, even if it is out of my reach.  I stretch.  I prop my foot on something for added height.  I grab whatever is handy and make reaching tools with which to knock the item off the shelf {and occasionally directly onto my head}.  I've been known to climb {but lets not tell Rocket Man, okay?  It makes him crazy when I climb, although I'm quite good at it}.  As a last ditch effort, I've been known to wait patiently until someone taller comes along and ask for help.

As I was reaching for some lime sherbet on the top shelf of the ice cream freezer, an amazing thing happened.  Boy Wonder walked up behind me, reached up over my head and got the sherbet as he said, "Dude!  Let me get that for you." 

I was stunned.  That I have a grandson {and the baby at that} tall enough to reach up over me.  That he actually called me "Dude!"  That he helped without being asked.  My instinct was to throw up an eyebrow and give him the evil eye at the "Dude!" at which he quickly said, "Ummm...I mean...Grandmother." {dimple flashing, of course.  I'm such a sucker for the dimple}

I turned my head and smiled.  I thanked him for the help.  My heart was flooded with snippets of memories of my children at the same age.  Of easy banter and turning my head to hide my smile.  Of late night trips to the store just because we could go.  Of nights piled up on the couch watching movies.  Of the first time I left them home alone all day long.

And time somehow slowed for a split second.  I found myself in a moment with my grown up children, only they were kids again.  We were wrapped in love and laughter.  Before our lives were turned upside down.  Before our hearts were broken and scarred.  When things were just easier.  At least, it seems that way now.

I am so grateful for those moments when time loops around and I feel like I am in a dear and familiar place, even if just for a second.  I embrace those moments and those memories.  And I cherish them.

I'm sure that someday, I'll be reaching for something and hear that precious little-boy-growing-up voice saying, "Dude!  Let me get that for you!"  And I will smile.


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