Thursday, February 10, 2022

Remember

 Do you ever stop and think to yourself, 

"I want to remember how this exact moment feels!" 

To remember the sounds you hear. The colors you see. The way the world around you smells. How the sun feels warm on your cheek. Or how your breath makes smoke in the cold air. How your favorite fruit feels in your mouth as the flavor explodes. The heaviness in your heart or the lightweight feeling of dancing on air.

To take all those feelings in your surroundings, what each sense is experiencing and capture them, wrap them up somehow, and revisit them on occasion. Those memories we tuck away to cherish and take out whenever we want and soak them up, savoring in the memory of a moment.

Do you do that?

I do. I have done that for years and years.

In fact,  I remember vividly the first time I consciously stopped and thought I want to remember what this feels like for the rest of my life. It was in May of 1967. My 10th birthday, to be exact. 

I received saddlebags for my bicycle and I was out for a test ride.  I stopped riding at the top of the hill. I lifted my face toward the sun, a warm springtime sun that emitted warmth on a cool day.  I stretched out my arms over my head, as if to embrace the day, looked up at the blue sky full of white, puffy clouds, and thought, 

"I want to always remember how this feels."

And almost 55 years later, I still remember what I felt that day.  The old blue bicycle with new red saddlebags, the fresh breeze, the sunshine.  I think part of what I was feeling was a freedom of sorts.  I was free to ride my bicycle the rest of the afternoon, as long as I was home in time for supper.  I could choose to ride up this street or perhaps wait and ride down the next street.  I could avoid the hilly streets in the neighborhood.  I could ride up and down the same street over and over.  As much as a 10 year old could be, for that moment in time I felt in charge of my destination. 


Something about the day made me want to take a slice of it and keep it.  

I want to remember.  So often, I've taken note of the way I felt.  Some of the occasions were just ordinary, everyday moments.  Some were destructive and hurtful as I stopped to think I want to remember this and avoid it if at all possible.  

Some are the amazing and extraordinary moments of life;

first kisses (not all that many, but a few, and they were all oh! so! sweet!), good news, births, new experiences, mountain  top sunsets, beach sunrises, a simple melody, a lovely flower, a line of poetry, a helping hand, a shared smile, an answered prayer.

Then there are those rock hard moments that I still recall with tears;

"I don't love you anymore", difficult diagnoses, that phone call you dread, gravesides, lost dreams, walking with a loved one in their last fight with devastating disease, disappointment, saying goodbye.


In all, I have tried to be intentional in my taking note of how things feel. And as I grew older than 10 and as my teen and early adult years flew by and all of the sudden I'm gettin-my-medicare-card-years-old this year...I have learned to offer gratitude for the moments I have tucked away in my heart.  The good and the hard. The moments of my life.  It's the only one I've had and while it has been a rather ordinary life (and that's really okay with me), it has been full of extraordinary moments.  

The thing about all of those moments that links them all together when I sit quietly and ponder them is that God has been with me in every one of them.  

I felt His presence as a 10 year old reaching out to embrace that beautiful day as surely as I felt Him holding me tenderly when my heart was breaking. 

Should the day come that I no longer remember my carefully saved scraps of life, I know He will still be with me. 

Last week, I was fortunate to escape the chill of winter and accompany the RocketMan on a business trip to Florida.  I was able to spend time walking the beach, soaking up the gentle sunshine and feeling the ocean breeze on my face.  I read great books, worshipped and sang praises, tasted freshly caught shrimp, laughed with new friends, and talked and dreamed out loud through the night with the RocketMan.  I danced to some of my favorite tunes. I saw not one, but two launches!  

And I found myself thinking over and over that I wanted to remember how this exact moment feels.  Also? The camera on my phone helps :)

                                                                                 ~mollianne



Just a quick extra note:
I haven't written a blog post in a long time.  But I have a pile of draft Instagram posts with more words than allowed, so I figured it was time to start up again.  Not sure how often I will post, but perhaps I can get back into the habit.  I know, I know...written blogs aren't the rage these days.  Since when have I cared about that?
Thanks for being here, if you made it this far!







Thursday, June 11, 2020

Dangerous Noise

We were sitting outside, cooling off in the shade after taking a walk in the heat and humidity of an Alabama June day.

The RocketMan was talking about his work.  If you aren't aware, I'm a Philosophy major married to a Mechanical Engineer.  He builds space flight hardware. A lot of the talk about his work goes way over my head.  Newton's second law and The Tsiolkovsky rocket equation and such are formulas
I am aware of, but not things I use in my daily life.
He, however, does.
Use them in his daily life.
 I think.

 So as he talks about technical things, I often find myself blinking, smiling, nodding, and desperately trying to pick up on one piece of the information he is sharing so I can ask an intelligent question.  

He, in turn, gets a pained expression on his face if I talk about Aristotle, Kierkegaard, or Hegel.
So we're really a matched pair.
And for the record, I seldom talk about Aristotle, Kierkegaard, or Hegel anymore.
But there was a time when I did and he was a good sport and he listened,
even though he said it hurt his head.
I feel your pain, there, RocketMan!

As I was saying,  he was talking about his project and something he said hit me like a bolt of lightning.  He was talking about his space flight hardware and said,  

The noise can be thought of as high frequency energy. 
It can cause a great deal of damage.

Wait, what?
Of course, he was talking about one thing but what he said caused me to take notice and consider noise and acoustics in a different way.  

I have a remedial understanding of the physics involved in sound and noise.  Noise is generally considered to be unpleasant sound. Both sound and noise are transmitted by vibrations through the air, but sound is much preferable to noise when it is processed in our brain.  I think I have that right.  

Friends, I don't have to tell you we are living in troublesome times.
Politics
Pandemic
Economics
Social Unrest
All you have to do is turn on the TV,
check the news on your computer,
take a look at any number of social media outlets.
Or try to have a conversation with someone.

Evidence of this turmoil is everywhere you go.
People on the street corners with signs
Masks
Angrily hurled epitaphs
People out of work
Name calling
Businesses closed
Mobs destroying everything in sight
Fists raised
Grand gestures
Everyone has feelings...myriad feelings
And those feelings are mighty noisy

The world seems to be spinning out of control.
And the vibrations of this spinning is creating such noise as I have never experienced.
It is damaging and ripping the very fabric of our everyday lives.

The noise in my head and heart caused by the vibrations of hate and discontent in the world is nearly unbearable.  So many feelings abound and so much rhetoric surrounds us.
It is deafening. No matter what the hot topic of the day, there is the accompanying noise.

Ever present
Eardrum pounding
Glass shattering
Heart breaking
High frequency
Damaging
Noise

When the RocketMan told me noise energy damages the hardware,
he also explained that they were taking precautions.
They are moderating, absorbing, and dampening the noise to protect the hardware.

So, too, must I moderate the noise around me to protect my head and my heart.
By limiting time watching the news
By stepping away from social media
By choosing my words carefully
By showing love to all I meet
By standing firm on the Rock of Ages
By starting and ending my day in prayer and conversation with The Father,
and having conversation with Him throughout the day
By knowing the most important conversation I have is with Him

and by dwelling here;

Finally, brethren, 
whatever is true,
whatever is honorable,
whatever is right,
whatever is pure, 
whatever is lovely, 
whatever is of good repute,
if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise,
dwell on these things.
 Philippians 4:8 nasb

I'm striving daily to spend more time dwelling on those things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and of good repute. That is the best way I have found to moderate the noise of the world around me.

~mollianne













Thursday, June 4, 2020

Hey there! Its me again.

I am amazed.  

Simply amazed.  
This old blog is still here and I remembered the password to get to it!
Who'd have thunk it?

So much has happened since I last posted more than a few years ago.  

My sweet Daddy lost his fight with Parkinson's Disease.

We have opened our home to share with asylum seekers from another country.

RocketMan retired
but he didn't really retire...
he went right back to work the next day at the same desk, 
doing the same job.  
Don't ask.  
I'm confused, too.

I retired.

We went to France and Spain to walk 500 miles on the Camino de Santiago.

We walked over the Pyrenees mountains.

We walked over 100 miles in 10 days, 
but had to stop when I fell 
and dislocated my shoulder and tore my bicep.  
Getting out of the shower can be dangerous business.

I've had several surgeries, including rotator cuff and bicep repair (see the above statement).

We've crossed the threshold of a whole new decade and are proudly part of the 60+ crowd.
Which, unfortunately, comes with a whole new set of aches and ailments.

Lots of stuff has happened, I tell you.

Then...along comes 2020.  
The year that looked at all of us, 
laughed and said, 
"Hold my beer!"

Can you believe it all?  
It seems surreal, like a Salvador Dali painting.
The clock is melting off the table.
I feel like we are collectively wondering what could possibly be next? 
I know I am.

I'm finding comfort and strength in simple things.  
Taking a walk
 Playing with my dog
Reading a book 
Prayer and meditation  
Potting flowers for the patio 
Special time with my dear Mother 
Conversations with friends 
Very quiet evenings with the RocketMan
Baking bread
Dreaming
I've even taken up the Ukulele again! 

I read something in a newsletter once that goes something like this:
If we attend to the small things, God will take care of the larger things.  

Surely God is in the small and the large. 

What I took away from that was to trust God 
with the things I most certainly can't control.  
Pandemic 
Quarantine 
Violence
Economics 
Riots 
Elections 
A world gone mad

A world in need of a Savior 

What I can control is this 
...my attitude.

I may start working out my thoughts and recording my observations here again.  
It was such a comfortable spot for me to write. 
A place to check my attitude.
To concentrate on my blessings, which are myriad.
A place to note the beauty and good things that I see around me daily.

I'm clinging to hope and the familiar, especially in scripture.
I hope you are, as well.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true,
whatever is honorable, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovelocks,
whatever is of good repute, if there is any
excellence and if anything worthy of praise,
dwell on these things.
Philippians 4:8 nasb


~mollianne







Tuesday, February 10, 2015

A letter to Emily Freeman because #itssimplytuesday

Dear Emily,
I wish I could say, "My dear friend, Emily" but alas, I'm just a lurker in your virtual world and couldn't really say that we are friends.  I read your blog and your books and am just over the moon about your Tuesday Instagram Tag #itssimplytuesday

Anyway, I'd like to tell you about my #itssimplytuesday.  So far, because its only 2:22 p.m. CST.
Quite frankly, there's lots of Tuesday left and I'd be foolish to think absolutely nothing else goofy will #simply happen before I lay my head on my pillow and close my eyes, blowing kisses to Tuesday till next week.

I woke up. Late. Because I didn't set my alarm.  Correction.  I set my alarm...I didn't turn it on. I've circled the sun almost 58 times and occasionally that turning-it-on-thing bites me in the behind. Gotta remember to do that!

Quite frankly, waking up {late} and scrambling for mirror time and the other necessary things that must be accomplished before I could walk out of the house sent my attitude a little south of grumpy. I had to hurry because I'd left my car at work last night and ridden home with my husband, so I had to be ready to leave when he was ready. And of course, the night I didn't turn my alarm on... he didn't even set his.  We're a matched pair, we two.

I stomped  walked out of the house and looked up to dreary grey skies and harrumphed  sighed the sort of deep sigh that one learns to sigh as an asthmatic child/young adult.  I walked stomped (who am I kidding?) toward the car and then I saw it.  This little beauty I sighed again, this time just to slow down and breathe deeply and exhale a prayer of gratitude.  I began to think my day might be salvageable.





Dropping me off at the door to the church where I work, my Rocket Man sent me off with some pretty serous smooching before I got out of the car {because he's sweet like that in the mornings, especially since he knows I like smooching}. I ran up the stairs, checked my email, finished putting on my makeup, returned a call and made my list of things that must be done today before dashing back out down the stairs.

You see, my Mother in Law is undergoing radiation therapy for breast cancer.  She takes her treatment at the hospital across the street from the church where I work.  I walk across and meet her there to sit with her while she waits and make sure she's okay.  To do that, I have to cross a busy street, which seems to cause all sorts of concern by lots of people although I'm perfectly capable of crossing the street.  Been doing it for about 50 years all.by.my.self. I am careful to look both ways and am quite willing to wait patiently until it is safe to cross. {I think squished on the road wouldn't be my best look}.  Besides all that, look what is between my work and the hospital.



Yep. Panera Bread. Worth crossing a busy street for, don't you think?  I checked my watch and felt I had plenty of time to get a cup of hot tea and a pecan cinnamon braid. Because...well, no breakfast.  I bought one for Mrs. Massey, too.  She needs the calories while she's doing radiation, you know.

So, I made it to the Center for Cancer Care, settled in and chatted up the peeps in the waiting room. There's Ms. Doris who has bladder cancer.  And BJ,  her caregiver. Then my Mother in Law and Jay the technician.  I made sure everyone saw the picture of the amazing little daffodil who so bravely fought her way up through cold earth and about a foot of pine straw.

While Mrs. Massey had her radiation, I sat an enjoyed my tea and this lovely spot.  It really is nice to sit there. {I pretend I'm waiting somewhere in Italy}  It is nice any day, but today especially, because #itssimplytuesday.



On my way back to the church, I saw some birds having a tiff and I'm pretty sure I heard some major bird cussing.  I saw looked up as I walked under this tree and caught the lovely pattern of branches against the sky.  Because #itssimplytuesday!



I crossed the busy street, patiently waiting because of the whole squished-Molli-on-the-pavement thing. Every day, when I safely make it across the street and am back into safe territory, I look for some trash to pick up and bring in.  Because there's always something on the grounds that isn't supposed to be there.  Here's what I found today!



What?  Ewwww! It was empty, capped and says insulin on the side.  I was wearing gloves.  I safely disposed of it, peeled off my gloves and put them in a ziplock bag and washed my hands {about 3 times}.  I'm by no means a clean freak, but I think I'll wash my little stretchy gloves.  In hot water. Twice. With bleach. Because, you know...#itssimplytuesday.

I settled back into my desk until a sweet little lady and her son came to plan her husband's funeral on Saturday. Planing funerals is one of the things I do here at the church house. What an honor to help them plan a service for this WWII vet. A man who was a low turret gunner on a B-24. And survived the war. Came home and got a degree in engineering from Vanderbilt with his GI Bill and eventually worked on the team that developed the Saturn Booster system...enabling us to send men to the moon. Married to a precious woman for 70 years.  A man who taught Sunday School and loved "Whispering Hope" best of all the songs he knew.

When they left, I called to check on my mother who has been ill.  I told her I'd like to come check on her during lunch. And about the time I was ready to walk out the door, my phone rang and it was the Rocket Man asking me to meet him.  So I ditched my mother {she understood} and drove to meet this precious man Because #itssimplytuesday and #becauseheasked.


{More smooching in a parking lot after lunch} After all, #itssimplytuesday!

I ran into TJMAxx because #itssimplytuesday and #itsonthewayback.

Got into the church house and really, really had to use the restroom. Sweet tea at lunch will do that to you.  I was in the ladies room and reached around to unzip the invisible zipper on my black pants and...

Remember the scene from "A Christmas Story" where the tongue is applied to the flag pole?  And Flick begins saying in panic and ends screaming in agony. "Stuck.  Stuck.  STUCK!"



Yep!  THAT would be the invisible zipper on my pants.  Stuck.  I ran down the hall to get help.  My work BFF, who is constantly getting me out of all sorts of jams, ended up cutting me out of my pants.  Because...well, ice tea.  And I had to go.

Thank goodness my pants have a button at the top of the {broken} zipper and my sweater is long enough to cover the gaping gap in my britches where my zipper ought to be holding them shut.

And with that.  Because I've lived about 3 lifetimes since the alarm didn't go off and because who knows what else could happen and because #itssimplytuesday...I'm going home.  After I check on my mother.

If you WERE my friend, rather than someone I lurk around on the internet, I'd call you and we'd probably laugh till we cried.  Especially if I went into detail about Dee Ann trying to get my out of my pants before I wet them.  That was sort of a Laurel and Hardy moment.  Really funny.

Since I can't, I'm going to let this little letter fill you in.

Because...#itssimplytuesday.

You {lurking} almost-friend,
Mollianne

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Sunday Praise-I was Glad

 
I am glad, very glad to have been in the house of the Lord today!
 
~Mollianne


Friday, August 1, 2014

Photo Friday-River Time

I'm linking up with Diane Bailey today for Photo Friday.

Last Saturday, we {okay, I kind of decreed we were going to go} decided to throw responsibility to the wind and go on an adventure.  I had one goal...to go where the water was running and the rocks were big! In my neck of the woods, the first place that comes to mind is Little River Canyon.  One of my favorite spots on God's green earth, it acts as a balm to my soul.
 
I spent many, many afternoons happily stomping in creeks as a child. I love to have my feet in running water.  Doesn't have to be swift, although I like that.  I especially love to sit on a big, warm rock and watch the water flow over my feet. The carefree feeling evoked isn't replicated anywhere else in my life.  If fact, given the choice...I think I'd choose time at a shallow river or a good creek bed over the beach. {Gasp!! I know I'm in the minority}
 
Anyway, I threw bathing suits and sunscreen in a bag, grabbed some towels and off we went! Little River Canyon is about an hour and a half drive from our house and we were pretty quiet as we rode. It was as pleasant as could be.  Just the two of us and the radio, headed toward the Canyon.
 
 
It was obviously the choice of many people on Saturday and quite crowded.  But we managed to find a spot and chill out for about two hours. Delightful.
 
 
We watched children splashing and letting the current sweep them down the rocks smoothed by centuries of rushing water. 
Some folks brought their dogs and we loved watching them get in the water.
 
 
 
 
We saw fish and snakes {yuck!} and I spent a long time watching butterflies and bees feast on a flowering bush.
 
 
 
 
 
The song of the current and the warmth of the sun combined with the gentle kiss of a breeze made the event like a glimpse of heaven to me. 
 

 

 
Yep!  A little glimpse of heaven on earth.

 
I'll be thinking of our afternoon on the river tomorrow when
I'm doing the laundry and cleaning the house.
And remembering to be thankful for the time away last week.
 
~Mollianne 
 


Monday, July 28, 2014

Fifty-five things I Love and Admire about my Amazing Rocket Man!

Today is an auspicious day in my world.
My husband, the Amazing Rocket Man, is having a birthday.
And while I won't tell you his exact age...I am happy to share fifty-five things I love and admire about him.
 
His steadfast faith in God. Lived out daily in his life,
expressed differently than my own,
but as firm a faith as I have ever encountered.

2
He is a man of deep integrity, more so than any I have ever known.
Integrity would be one of his defining characteristics. 

 3
He has the most deliciously sharp, dry wit!
He is seriously the funniest human
I know and his laughter comes easy and often.

4
His intellect is amazing
He is smart in ways I never knew existed. I mean, he IS a Rocket Engineer and all, but his intellect goes beyond those formulas for propulsion. His mind is astounding and he uses it for good in the world.

He is loyal.

6
He is faithful.

He is honest.

He is self-disciplined.
{I am not and I do so admire this in him. I wish it rubbed off or I could catch it from him by osmosis. So far...that hasn't worked out for me}

He is selfless.
He puts the concerns of others above his own. 
I could give accounts of things he has done in his career and personal life
that are downright inspiring, but

10
He is an humble man 
He wouldn't want those details of his life plastered on the world wide web.

11
He is a leader.
He is the type of leader whose example speaks volumes. If his guys are working on the weekends...he's right there with him. He knows the names of the custodians in his building and thanks them for their efforts.  He led a team during a crucial project who would have, I believe, stormed the gates of hell with him and re-engineered the air conditioning. 

12
He has such a sense of purpose and lives intentionally.
More than anybody I have ever met, he always knows the reason he does what he does.

13 
His analytical mind.
Which can also be daunting.
But I admire the way he can break down a problem
and get to the bottom line.

14
He is practical.
I can be practical. 
There is a difference...subtle but often telling.

15 
He is a generous man.
I have never seen him turn down the opportunity to help someone in need.
Never. And he wants no kudos for his acts of generosity.

16 
Then...there is his tooth that is crooked.
It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful and he has the most beautiful grin.
I love that tooth and when he grins at me and I see the crooked tooth...I'm a goner. Please don't tell him.  He already owns me, but he'll know he owns me if he gets wind of that tiny piece of information!

17
He winks at me!
After all these years, he winks at me and flirts with me in outrageous ways at times.

18
He loves his Mother well.
 He is so good to her and it is one of his most endearing qualities.

19
He tells the best stories. 
I adore listening to him tell stories.  He really ought to go on the storytelling circuit...he's that good.
I especially love stories of his Granddaddy and Granny. He can tell a story about their foibles without being demeaning.  It is so obvious when he talks about them, especially his Granddaddy, that he loved them wholeheartedly and their influence on his life was great.

20
He has the ability to find humor in almost every circumstance.
The corollary is he has the outstanding ability to laugh at himself. 

21
He is a man of  great strength.
Both in body and in character.

22 
He is courageous.
He is willing to take risks.
Perhaps his greatest act of bravery was to enter into a
second marriage after being hurt so badly the first time.
That act alone gives him hero status!

23 
Then, there are the times he starts laughing and the laughter is so good and fine,
so deep and true he ends up with tears in his eyes
Those around him cannot help but laugh as well when that happens. 
I love it when he laughs like that!

24 
He kisses me ever-so-softly at night and whispers, "God Bless Molli."
 Those are sacred times and I cherish them.

25 
He has this delightful ability to string words together in creative ways.
A very effective communication tool.
Also? It makes me laugh every time.  Every. Single. Time.

26 
He is a good father.
One of the best.
I'm not sure his children understand this, but I pray they will someday.
He has done hard stuff with and for them and prays for them daily. 

27
He is good to my children and loves them deeply.
He has been an amazing role model for them.

28
He loves my parents.
He is gentle and patient and good with them.
He likes them, too, which makes life good!

29
He is, without a doubt, the BEST Granddaddy EVER!
To my grandchildren, who in no way share his DNA,
but who share his heart.

30
The way he says, "Moll-li!"
And I know I'm busted.

31
The way he gathers me close into his arms at night.

32 
When he whispers scandalous, outrageous things in my ears at the most inappropriate places.
{I REALLY dig that!}

33 
He dances with me.
He doesn't like to dance much, but he dances with me.

34
He's a good sport.
He hates to have his picture taken and he bought me a camera.
Enough said!

35 
He is good with his hands.
In many ways.
Use your imagination :)

36 
His willingness to kiss me.
Over and over again.
In public and in private.
I love kissing that man, and he obliges me with a myriad of kisses.

37
He is an encourager.
He constantly is encouraging someone to do their best,
to try something new, to reach for the stars. Its just the kind of guy he is.
38 
He fixes things.
If its broken, he can fix it. He just can.

39
He is concerned about others.

40
He is very nurturing.

41
{ahem} Those intimate times we share
That's all I have to say about that.

42
He is patient.
He will tell me something 3 different ways until I understand.

43
He teaches Senior Adult Sunday School
He is so good with those precious saints and they adore him.

44
He ALWAYS strives to do the right thing.
Always. More than anyone I have ever known.
No easy way out for my Rocket Man.

45
He does hard stuff.
Even when it takes a toll on him.
Even when he is unfairly handed a mess of someone else's making.
He does hard.

46 
He takes me to ride the wind.
One of the greatest joys we share is riding our motorcycle together.

47 
He is always there to catch me if I fall.
Literally and Figuratively.
Always there.

48
He is protective of what is his.
Whatever it takes, he will protect me.
Because I'm his. And by the way...I love it that he calls me his girl.
Love it!

49
He makes me feel safe.
Even when life is scary.

50 
He looked past the baggage of my life and loved me anyway.
Warts and all.
And he still loves me.

51 
He knows thing.
Things I would never, ever know.
Random things.
It entertains me to hear him speak eloquently about things I never heard of.

52 
He is easy on the eye.
I love looking at him.
I find him to be devastatingly handsome.
I am a lucky, lucky Mollianne.

53 
He is a good man.
From the inside out.
Unless he's being bad
{And I kinda like that part, too}

54
He shows me unconditional love.
In word and deed.
United in one flesh, united in one spirit, united in one family.

55
We complete each other.
We are best when we are together.
We are a fine team and there's not much we can't do as long as we are doing it together.
 
Here's to you, my darling Rocket Man.
You have made my dreams come true.
 
I love you.
Happy Birthday
~Mollianne
7/28/2014