Friday, February 25, 2011

Some things that just can't wait

I had a conversation recently with a friend and I realized I heard a phrase from him that I have heard him say occasionally over the years. (and one I'm sure I've thought and said as well)  He said he was ready to get to a point where he could just enjoy life.

And that got me to thinking. 

As things often do.
(don't be alarmed...I'm a trained thinker. 
I have a degree in Philosophy.  Its what we do!)

Even though I know in my head and my heart that all of life's moments are supposed to be treasured and enjoyed...I don't always do it.  Even when I'm purposeful about living in the today, something in my pointy little head is straining to see what lies ahead or making plans and contingencies.

But, you know what?

Some things just can't be put off.

Like enjoying the first flowers of spring,
because they don't last.

Like laughing at an 11 year old boy's silly jokes,
because he will soon be 12 and maybe he won't want to tell me those silly jokes. 

Like calling someone who is on my heart to check in,
because they might not live through the night.
(learned this one the hard way)

Like saying 'yes I can' to the person who stops me on the street for help
because I might be his last hope for help.  Even if I can't give him more help than an encouraging word while looking him in the eye and acknowleding him as a person.

Like taking every opportunity to show love and speak love to the ones I love most,
because they need to hear it and I need to say it.

Like smiling
Like singing
Like dancing
Like laughing
Like praying
Like worship
Like giving joyfully from my abundance
Like taking care of my physical well being
Like crying
Like crying with someone in great pain or need
Like allowing myself to feel the wonder of the earth
and express my joy
and embrace my life.  All of it! (even the not so great parts)

Because, I don't know how long I'm going to be here.
And I don't know how long you are going to be here.

And I don't want to say in the end,
"I sure wish I'd done (fill in the blank) ..."

So, I'm going to encourage my friend to enjoy the here and now and not wait for that someday when some made-for-TV movie that he has embedded in his mind begins to happen in his life.  I'm going to suggest that he embrace the opportunites of today, so that he will appreciate the blessings of tomorrow. 

And I just might do a little more of that myself.


Thursday, February 24, 2011

Godspeed, Discovery

Shuttle Discovery

There she stands, waiting at the pad as the countdown clock ticks away.

Shuttle Discovery is scheduled to launch at 4:50 p.m. tomorrow. 
STS-133 marks Discovery's last voyage into space.

I had plans, big plans, to be there to view the launch.  Not quite a life-long the Shuttle program has only been flying since my children were babies.  Not ever my dream to see the last launch of any given spacecraft.  But the dream of a lifetime, nonetheless.

Things happen.  Plans change.  Circumstances beyond our control at times close opportunities. Unfortunately, the opportunities to view a shuttle launch are extremely limited. 

I will watch from a television or perhaps my computer. 
I will pray for the crew, for mission control and for their families and friends. 

Godspeed, Discovery. 
Fly true. 
Deliver  your cargo and return home safely.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Sometimes, I Just Feel Like a Squirrel

Sometimes I feel like a flying squirrel...leaping from one precarious limb to another

Sometimes I feel like a bat must have flown into my bedroom while I was, wait!  That DID happen!

Most days I feel like this squirrel...just too doggone fat!

Sometimes, I feel like hissing at the world

Sometimes I feel like I'm out of place...or on another planet

Occasionally, I feel like Super Squirrel

Sometimes, I feel like I'm trapped with no place to go

Mostly, I feel like I'm very loved and cared for.
How about you?  Ever feel like a squirrel?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Sound in the Night

I heard it again last night.

Something so wonderful that I can’t complain…even though it wakes me up in the night,
often from a sound sleep.

Something I hope I never take for granted or become so accustomed to
 that I only hear it as noise in the background.

Something that makes my world complete and my heart whole.

Something that speaks to safety and well-being.

Something that I longed for most of my life and hope to bask in for the rest of my life.

I heard the voice of my Rocket Man.  He brushed the hair from my face as I lay sleeping.
He tenderly kissed my cheek and offered a prayer, whispering, “God Bless and Keep my Molli”

It happens most nights.

Sometimes I am so deep in sleep that I’m not sure if I heard it or not.
But last night, I know I did, because I wasn’t asleep. I was laying quietly,
listening to the ticking of the clock and the gentle sound of his breathing.

We have a crazy day today. We spent the weekend out of town with our grandchildren, so usual weekend chores went undone. They will remain undone for at least a week, due to the craziness today.

I suggested that we not make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day this year. Because, really…when I hear, “God Bless and Keep my Molli” almost every night of the year…I know that I am loved. I don’t need a card with a heart, flowers, chocolates or dinner.

In some small way, each day that I live with the Amazing Rocket Man…it is always Valentine’s Day.

Ed and Mollianne got married and are living happily ever after

Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Letter to the Boys Fantastic

The Boys Fantastic
Dear Mac Attack and Boy Wonder,
Thank you for such a fun-filled weekend.  It was really a lot of fun to take a road trip and go to Chattanooga with you.  Along with the fishes and rocks and waterfalls, I saw some amazing things.

I saw a boy who looked out for the young children all around and
stepped back to let small children get closer to the exhibits.

Mac Attack

I saw two boys who took the change out of their pockets when they thought nobody
was looking and put it in the tip cup where we ate dinner.

I saw a boy who came to find his Grandmother just to check and make sure she was okay.

I saw adolescence trying to be cool, with silly boy still just under the surface.

I saw unabahsed awe and wonder at the beauty of God's world.

Boy Wonder

I saw good natured teasing met with laughter.

I saw boys who said 'thank you' for everything that was done for them...over and over again. 

I saw boys who are teetering on the precipice of being young men...boys who hold a part of my heart in their beings as well as my blood and genes...boys who are interested and interesting...Boys Fantastic.

God Bless you, my dear Boys, and keep you in His care.

Love always,

Thursday, February 10, 2011

You Can't Make this Stuff Up!

I remember quite a few years ago, back when Ronald Reagan was President to be exact, having a conversation that I have come to regret over the years. My children were 5 and 3 and my life was relatively uncomplicated. As a miliatry family, we moved with some frequency. When the USAF took us to a new location, we made 'home', found a church ASAP and made friends. Quickly, because we probably weren't going to be there long. We lived in 5 different places in three and a half years at one point.

The conversation that I regret had much to do with my innocence and very simple view of the world at that time. There was a family in our church who seemed to go from one disaster or complicated situation to another. It seemed like they had a dark cloud over their heads that they just couldn't shake.

I was having tea with a new girlfriend and said something along the lines of, "I wonder why the Joneses seem to have so much stuff going on all the time? My life is so quiet and calm." Oh, Molli! Poor innocent Molli! Did you really call down the thunder like that? The Mollianne who said that had no idea how many times those words would come back, served up on a platter to be eaten over and over again. Remember Forest Gump and all the ways you can eat shrimp? I have eaten those words more times than I care to count.

Was there really a time when the biggest concern in my everyday life was sorting out which He-Man figure was my son's and which was Billy-the-kid-next-door's? When choosing a pattern and fabric to make an Easter dress for my daughter was the biggest decision I had to make? I lived in such a bubble and was just sure that I was going to live happily ever after. It never occured to me that bad things, tragic events, out of control things...LIFE might happen to me. Who IS that young woman in my memories? How did SHE turn into ME?

Let me just say that my life today seems very disconnected from my life then. As it ought to be. I've grown up, matured and live a life that is more complicated at times than I ever imagined but also has more joy and satisfaction than I could have dreamed. And somewhere in Rocket City, there is probably some wet-behind-the-ears young woman who could look at me and say, "Boy! Compared to life is calm! There is ALWAYS something goofy going on in that family!" And, she would be right.

For instance, I went to the dermatologist on Monday to have a wart removed from the pinky finger of my right hand. Only it turns out that what I have is not a wart. It is some sort of cyst. Which requires surgical removal. Rocket Man and I looked at each other at this bit of news and burst into laughter {much to the doctor's surprise}. Rocket Man said, "Well, of course it does!" Who else goes to the dermatologist to get a pesky wart removed only to find out that surgery is in her immediate future?

I was able to get an appointment with the hand surgeon today, and am scheduled to have surgery next Monday to remove the silly thing. I came home with pain meds and have been thoroughly admonished that the dressing has to remain intact until the stitches are removed 8 days following the procedure.

Honestly. You can't make up stuff like this. I'm going to spend a week with my right hand bandaged up and my pinky finger taped to my ring finger to keep it immobilized. I'm guessing that Rocket Man will be adding some intersting things to the list of things he's never done before.

If you see me next week and think, 'Mollianne's makeup looks like it
was applied by a color-blind rocket engineer'

...You'll probably be right!