Saturday, February 27, 2010

Some Things Just Need to Be Kept Out Of Reach

So...I had mega-doses of IV steroid infusion this week. I got stuck several times. I have bruises to show for it. I have been up, down and all around. I've tried very hard to find as much humor in the situation as I possibly can.

I did NOT want to take this treatment. Honestly. I wanted to go to bed, pull the covers up and crawl out another day to find out that somebody else's blood work had gotten mixed up with mine. Doesn't that happen sometimes? Somewhere?

Out with the big girl panties yet again.
No Hello Kitty.
No Princess Barbie.
No Days of the Week.
Not Joe Boxer.
Sheesh! Not even Victoria's Secret.
Just the ordinary, grown-up, big girl panties that somehow transform the me who would just love to stomp my foot and say "NO! I'm not gonna!" just once...just once in my life and have it be so... into the me who pulls up the panties and does what needs to be done. I never once got anything by stomping my foot except a hurt toe. Might as well get on with it.

Guess what? It wasn't all that bad. Well, except for the being drugged, unable to sleep, using up a lot of sick leave, maybe acting a little crazy and perhaps taking one too many sleeping pills by mistake one evening.

The actual infusion process turned out to be sort of sweet. The first day was almost like a party...after we got me stuck and everyone got over the sticking of Mollianne. Mother, Daddy, Rocket Man and I sat in the room and laughed and cut up with the nurses. I mostly ignored that 1000 mg of steroids were dripping into my vein.

We got to go to lunch when it was over and I had a yummy-o sandwich at Jason's Deli with a spot of ice cream for dessert.

Tuesday was more of the same, only I didn't have to get stuck. I did have a bit of a time bathing with the IV thingy in, but a big black garbage bag and some stunning hot pink duct tape kept the thing dry and I was able to get clean as a whistle. Tuesday was a bit funnier, at least to me, due to the Category I Federally Controlled Substance I was given to help put me to sleep because I was so hyped up on steroids. It put me to sleep,but didn't keep me asleep. I remember singing a lot and thinking a whole lot of things were funny all night long. Basically, I had my own little party and cracked myself up all night. I was a bit groggy Tuesday morning.

By Tuesday night, I'm feeling no pain at all. None! I have turned into Sassy Barbie. I took charge of the Remote Control. This is something unheard of in MolliWorld. The Good Prince Rocket Man believes that the TV Remote Control is the seat of all power in the Universe and He protects me from Evil People who might try to harm me if I have such power in my control by making sure I never get to touch it. He is sooooo good to me.

When I thought I might be able to sleep, I went upstairs with my glass of water and took the Catergory I pill that was going to make me sleepy and take me to the Land of Winken, Blinken and Nod. At least, that is the way it was supposed to work.

Sometime in the night, things went terriblly wrong. The best we can deduce (after counting pills because I was totally wigged out-and I don't use that term very often) is this: at some point in the night, I took another pill.

Let's all say it together now...Poor, Poor Rocket Man.

I guess I sang, laughed, got up and down and if he hadn't been in need of sleep I might have been terribly amusing all night long.
All. Night. Long.
About 6:00 am, just when he thought he had me sort of asleep, he decided he was going to sneak into the bath, grab some coffee and leave me in the care of my parents and escape to his meeting! He started the bath water and ran downstairs to get something.

When he came back into the bathroom, there I was! Big as life and in his bath water. High as a kite and crying because I was certain that someone had come in the house and put water all over all the furniture. I cried about lots of things on Wednesday morning. I think he was thrilled to leave me with my Mother and sorry that he'd agreed to the 'No Deposit, No Return' policy where I was concerned. I cried because my hair dryer was broken, I might gain weight and I almost used the oriental carpet as a toilet by accident. I cried because I had promised him I would never be crazy and I was absolutely certain I WAS being crazy and I couldn't stop.

There was about a molecule of me that knew I was behaving irrationally. I called Rev. Boss in tears to let him know that I wasn't coming to work. I called 2 co-workers to get them to do things for me, sobbing that I couldn't get to work. I think I kept telling everyone that I was just 'too little.' I cried because my parents were seeing me act like a baby. It was a very P-p-p-iglet sort of morning for me.

By the time I stumbled into the infusion center, I had downed about a pot of coffee in an effort to sober up, stopped crying and was feeling somewhat euphoric, if not a bit sleepy. I confessed to all the lovely nurses that I thought I might have taken one too many pills. They were smiling. I think they could tell.

You will be pleased to know that The Catergory I Federally Controlled Sleeping Aid Medication is put away. I don't know where it is. If I need it, I have to ask for it.

Probably not a bad idea to have it hidden.

I've decided to harness the excess energy I feel and do some laundry, catch up on the dusting and who knows? Maybe I'll re-roof the house tonight after I go make cinnamon rolls for breakfast tomorrow? Wait...Rocket Man was specific about no going up on the roof. Guess I'll just make the rolls.

Some things really do need to be put out of reach.

For very good reasons!


Teri Lynne Underwood said...

Always you inspire me ... and remind me not to take myself or my life too seriously. Thank you ... and I love you!

Mollianne said...

You are welcome! And, I love you, too. Poor Rocket Man. He really has his hands full lately. What did we ever do without him?