Hey gang! Or maybe that’s just hey! My sweet little baby blog never has a big following and I have not been faithful here for years
It’s after 2AM and I’m in a hospital bed feeling ever so grateful for so many things. I’m recovering from serious back surgery that became more serious than we expected.
I am recovering well and while I take my pain meds to keep ahead of the pain, I find counting my blessings is one of the best pain deterrents I know.
I am so very grateful for the circumstances that allowed me to find the correct neurosurgeon. At 67, I’d known for years I was facing disc fusion in my lower back. Pain has been, for most of my life, a constant companion. But in typical late 1950/early 60s medical practice, when I complained about back pain, especially non-specific back pain I was told there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. Go play!
I must have whined a lot because I could spell hypochondriac by the time I was 4 and recall my family calling me ‘Hypo’ as a nickname. I am not saying this in any way to cast blame or say I was not loved or nourished as a child. It was just the times we lived in.
Turns out, I was born with fairly severe scoliosis which became exerasabated by arthritis, spinal stenosis, disc issues…you name it! My hips were never straight and I drug a leg because it was longer and always wore out one toe of my shoes.
As an adult I didn’t help by being overweight. As far as I know the largest impact it ever had on me was my inability to deliver my children in the normal way. Both came via c-section.
This has not slowed me down. I have lived an active life and I have embraced some amazing things. Five years ago right now we were walking in Spain on an ancient pilgrimage, The Way of St. James. I was carrying roughly a 16 pound backpack. I had pain while walkingit, but so did everyone else! The RocketMan and I walked across the Pyrenees in 2 days as we began our dream trip of a lifetime.
We did not complete the 500 mile stroll. Around Mike 110, on our first rest day, I slipped getting out of the shower and dislocated my shoulder, catastrophically tore my rotator cuff that already had some small tears, and ripped my bicep. We traded on our pilgrim dreams and toured in Spain and Portugal instead. I bought a suitcase to put my backpack in and off we went. The pain came with me. But oh my! Did we ever have fun! I cried about halfway home from our departure flight from Oporto to NYC.
I felt I had failed. And still would call myself a failed pilgrim. But that begs a deeper question. Aren’t we all failed pilgrims? This world is not my home, but my daily pilgrimage to become more like Jesus and less like me…constant failure!
Back to my back. Pun intended! In 2020 we remodeled our sweet house in Camelot and sold it! We and moved in with my mother while the RocketMan worked diligently to launch his rocket. Actually, it was NASA’s rocket but whatever. Artemis was his career swan song. It finally flew in 2022 and we put our plan into motion.
We moved to a wonderful small town in west Alabama, bringing Mother with us. We bought a beautiful 1976 model home with great bones. She needs some TLC and we’re working on that. But since 2020, I’d been working my hiney to the bones and I finally did my back in. It was finished!
I spent most of this summer on alternating ice/heat. Taking copious cocktails of meds just to be able to put on my clothes. I saw the doctor and said, ‘Uncle!’ I give up. I can no longer exist like this. So we set the wheels in motion. I did the requisite PT, pain injections, etc. to go through the insurance hoops. That begin in May.
I was able to get a referral to a neurosurgeon I wanted to see when we lived in Rocket City USA. But in God’s mysterious ways, we had to move to Small Town USA to get the referral needed to the neuro surgeon we most wanted to see.
I had 2 surgeries in 3 days. The first did not do what they’d hoped so overnight my surgeon came up with plan B. It was a long, involved surgery. I am now three weeks post op, back in Small Town USA in a swing bed T our amazing hospital, doing PT. Rumor says I could go home early next week with home health. So let’s all pray for that.
So, it’s me! Same Molli only with a straighter back. Probably a bit taller than I was before. Do I still have pain? Honey, I have more hardware in my back than some hardware stores own. I’ve traded one pain for another and will have a long recovery. I fully intend to go back to Spain and walk my pilgrimage. With a better, stronger and reinforced back.
We are loving retired life. My darling husband has slept in uncomfortable recliners by my hospital bed for 21 nights. He has soothed me, prayed over me, made me focus on his eyes when I was nearly hysterical. We’ve gone into uncharted water when I needed help wiping my bottom. That’s true love, folks. That’s taking care in sickness and health. He’s even doing the laundry. The man can send a rocket around the moon and back but he is intimidated my my washing machine
I’m ready to go home. To spend my days and nights with him. To learn more daily about God’s love by experiencing the love of a good man.
If you want hurt details, pop me a DM. We have pictures. I have gnarly scars up my back, around my side and in my belly. I asked to keep the staples they removed from my incisions. I want to have them melted down to a cross. To remember that my healing, while due in part…Big Big part to a skilled surgeon, but my healing is from the Father. I never want to take for granted that by the stripes of Jesus, I am healed!
So anyway…those are some of my middle of the night musings. Who knows, maybe I’ll see if my old domain is still available and go back to the beautiful artwork of my former blog.
One more thing. The things you learn about yourself at 67. My buttcrack, according to the amazing RocketMan, is now straight. I lived 67 years not knowing it had an odd curve to it. I found/still find this to be hilarious. He tells me I don’t have to tell everything I know. I recon the more things change, the more they stay the same. I’m still a bit too cheeky for him and he’s still a bit more inhibited than I.
God’s best to you as you walk your paths today. Look for beauty. Embrace joy! Dance just because. Do something kind for no other reason than kindness counts. Trust your Savior to be near you.
And a big ol’ Go Dawgs!!
As ever,
~Mollianne
