Happily Ever After

I always thought I would grow up and live happily ever after. Not that birds would be singing on my windowsill every morning (in fact, I wish the birds would hush up at 3 am this time of year) or that I would wake up with fresh breath and perfectly coiffed hair. Not the cartoony-princess type of happily ever after.

What I dreamt of was being able to look across a table at the same person for 50 or 60 years and still feel my heart skip a beat when he smiled at me. To walk hand in hand, the way I saw my grandparents walk, even when their steps were a bit slower and their hands were gnarled with arthritis. I think that was one reason I was so devastated when after nearly 20 years my first marriage ended badly and in divorce court. Our papers were official less than 2 months before I turned 40. I doubted that I would ever marry again, much less be married to the same person for 60 years. While I’m not a math whiz, I can-on occasion-do the math. 40 + 60 really does = 100!

I wasn't long before I realized that one of the casualties of divorce is the loss of someone with whom to share memories.

Remember that time when…?
Remember when the boy took his first steps at his first birthday party?
Remember when the baby girl wanted to be a pink kitty?
Remember the night we danced all night…literally?

The only person who shared most of the memories of my babies and children when they were young had walked out the door. My girlhood dream of looking across that table and smiling at someone included that Someone being the father of my children. The Someone with whom I’d left my parents' house for the far corners of the world and never once looked back. The Someone with whom I had shared my youth, who knew me before I had stretch marks, gray hair or so many things had headed south. Clearly, THAT part of my dream was hosed.

I packed up my dream of happily ever after. I thought that I ought to have listed it in the settlement. I felt like someone had taken my dream and torn it in half.

Enter, in time, the Amazing Rocket Man. He was never, ever getting married again. Never. Period. End of discussion. His first marriage had ended so miserably that he declared he would rather eat dirt than marry again.

I agreed at first. We were friends who had occasional conversation. Actually, he was the Sunday School Teacher in the Singles Class at my church. I taught his daughter in children’s choir. We met at a Mother-Daughter banquet (and THAT is a story worth telling). So, we were friends. Then we began to send some emails. Then he invited me to drop by his house. Then, all of the sudden, he was buying me a Hershey Bar and we were sitting up talking until 2 in the morning. He doesn’t stay up that late. I found myself in L-O-V-E love. Head over heels. By and by, our love blossomed and even Mr. "I'd rather eat dirt than ever get married again" began to discuss the possibility of blending our families and growing old together and sharing his life and his family name with me. We were married on a Saturday night in May with all of our children present. We went to the Waffle House to celebrate (another story that really MUST be told at some point) and began our life together.

Here is what I learned. I found out that in mid-life you can rearrange your dreams. Happily ever after still includes looking across the table at the same person…just happens to be a person I’ve only known as an adult. The man who is Granddaddy to my Grandchildren. The man with whom I have shared an occasional rocky path, but also some glorious turns in the journey.

This happily ever after is born out of a determination to learn from and not repeat previous mistakes and it is jammed full of contentment.
This happily ever after is steady and sturdy, tested by fire at its conception and remains strong and true.
This happily ever after is so worth it, even if it isn’t what I had originally planned.

I’m hoping that we make it to celebrate our Golden Anniversary. Even better, that we can remember what we are celebrating when we are in our 90s!

Happily ever after? You betcha I believe in it. I’m living the dream!

Thursday’s Thankful Thoughts

I have much to be thankful for today. Mostly, I am thankful that My Sweet Daddy had a good report from his heart cath yesterday. Truly and earnestly grateful for that.

I am going to concentrate on some very simple pleasures today. I think if we remember to be thankful for the little things, it will be much easier to be grateful for everything!

Hot baths. Nothing like a hot bath with some soothing fragrance added to wash away all the troubles of a long day. I could soak for hours just looking at the flame of my candle and listening to some soulful music. The end result is that I am often relaxed, have left my cares behind me and feel clean and ready to rest and start tomorrow fresh and new. I am thankful for hot baths.

Hand lotion. I love hand lotion. Just when I think I’ve found the perfect lotion, I find a new one. I love to put lotion on and rub my hands together. I love the way my hands feel after I’ve applied lotion. I love the way that massaging the lotion takes tension out of my hands and relaxes me. I love the fragrance of my favorite lotions. I love the way they look displayed in a basket on my bedside table. I am thankful for hand lotion.

Sweet laughter in the middle of the night. We suffer with some insomnia at our house. Not all the time, but occasionally. I will wake up and try so hard to be quiet so I don’t wake Rocket Man up. I lay still and count blessings, sing songs to myself, make lists and try, try, try to go back to sleep. Often, sleep doesn’t come until about 15 minutes before the alarm is going off. Funny thing is that lots of the time, Rocket Man is laying there trying to keep quiet, laying still trying to keep from waking me up. The best is when one of us realizes that the other is awake and we have some mighty sweet conversations in the middle of the night. We laugh about the silliest things. We dream big dreams, tell our deepest secrets, solve the problems of the world, cuddle, laugh some more and eventually, I hear the slow and steady breathing the lets me know he has fallen back to sleep. I am so thankful for those delightful nights of laughter and fun. Even when it means I haven’t gotten enough sleep. I wouldn’t trade anything for those sweet times with the man I love.

Are there any simple things in your life for which you are thankful?

Wednesday’s Whinings

We had a few whiners last week. Everyone who whined with me, won a prize. Annie got a fingernail file that has an appropriate saying on it for such a lovely whine. Teri’s specialty coffee has been mailed (in hopes of getting a button sometime soooooooon) and I have something for Jodi (if she will send me her address) just for participating. I truly hope that Jodi’s RA is better.

Here’s what I have found to whine about since last week:

The Allman Brothers Band Concert.
1. They played for 3 hours and didn’t play my favorite soooooooong. (Soulshine…you should look it up and listen. Its great!)
2. The smoke (and not necessarily from cigarettes, if you get my drift) was thickkkkkkk. Really thick. Made me sneeze and my eyes water.
3. We were out waaaaaaay too late. I was a zombie all day long on Sunday.

I just don’t feeeeeeeel good. My allergies are driving me craaaaazy. I can’t seem to get enough sleeeeeep. If it weren’t physically impossible, I’d think I was pregnaannnnnnt. Don’t even think about starting a rumor. There would be a star in the East if that were the case.

Today, I feel like I am so far away from my parents and home. This isn’t really a funny or a silly whine. It is true. My Daddy is having a heart cath today and I wish I were there. I’m not whining about it, but a big part of me wishes I were in Central Missouri with my folks today. My heart is heavy today.

This started out with an attempt at humor and turned out to just being where I am today. Praying for my parents, the doctor, the nurses and all who care for my Daddy, for my brother who is traveling to be with them and for the rest of my family, scattered far and wide as we wait.

You are welcome to play. Anything funny you'd like to whine about today. I'd love to share a laugh or two.

PS
There is still the matter of a button that I realllllllllly, realllllllly wanted before I started posting my Wednesday Whinings. You know who you are! Terrrrrrrrrrrrrrri!

Thursdays Thankful Thoughts

I had so much fun with my whining yesterday. A little silliness goes a long way for me.

Here are a few Thursday Thankful Thoughts:
(These are bittersweet notes of gratitude today)

It has been 7 years this week since my precious grandmother, Neenie, died. I am so thankful for her and for the love and relationship that we shared. I am thankful for a heart that is full of memories of her and lessons she taught me. I'm thankful for her influence in my life, both while she was among us and now that she is gone. I am thankful for the relationship she had with my children, that they knew her personally and that they loved her very much. For the many things that she was to me, and to all who knew her, I am very grateful.

It has been 5 years ago this month that a dear friend and co-worker died. Elise Moss was one of the most extraordinary women I have ever known and I count it as a great privilege to have worked with and for her. I held her hand and sang to her as she was dying after a valiant fight against an awful cancer. I learned from her that you don't have to be defined by an illness or a situation. For that lesson and for the time we had together as friends and co-workers, I am very grateful.

I work in a large church as the Clergy Administrator (fancy name for Pastor's Secretary). In our office, we minister to a great many people. We have the joy of guiding people and helping them during the most significant moments of their lives. They come to us when they want to marry, when their babies are baptized, to confirm their children and to mourn and bury their dead. Lately, we have had the opportunity to help a family in great need of the love of Christ as well the love and support of their church and the community at large. I am in awe at the way the Pastor (lovingly referred to as Rev. Boss) is able to offer comfort to this family in their need. I am grateful that I can send out a prayer request and know that there are people who will stop what they are doing and pray for a situation without having to know the details. I am very thankful that there are days when my work is meaningful and makes a difference...a real difference...in the lives of those around me.

How about you? What are you thankful for this Thursday?

Wednesday Whinings-April 21, 2010

So, I thought about it this week and thought it might be fun to just let it all go and whine on Wednesdays. Remember The Whiners on Saturday Night Live? Doug and Wendy Whiner. They used to crack me up.

Let me start out by saying that I'm laughing at myself here. I abhor whining, so when I catch myself doing it, I usually scrunch up my nose and use the whiniest voice I can come up with. Whining is most effective, I think, when done dramatically.

So, here goes...My first edition of Wednesday Whinings:
(insert whiny voice)

1. I waaaaaaaaaaanted a logo or button or something for my Wednesday Whiiiiiining. I'm not savy enough to be able to do it and I thought someboooooody would make one for me.

2. I'm having a flare up of arthritis in one joint of my ring finger on my right hand. It really huuuuuuuurts. It huuuuuuurts when I tyyyyyype. I'm serious. Its so annoying. I wish it would go away.

3. I'm sooooooo sick of sneeeeeezing. Ah-ah-choo! The warmer weather is nice but is it eeeeeeeeever going to rain and get rid of this pollen? My eyes are watery and I loooooook awful.

so....what are you whiiiiiining about this week?
There might be a prize for the best whine!

~Mollianne

Thursday's Thankful Thoughts

I am following the example of my dear grown-up niece, Teri Lynne (you can find her at Pleasing to You) and am going to post weekly, on Thursdays, several things for which I am grateful. While I intend to mostly list things that are current in my life, I won't exclude being thankful for past events and persons for which I am grateful.

Not too many years ago, I was in fairly tight circumstances and it seemed that wave after wave of disaster kept rolling over me. Some of the disaster was of my own making. Some was not. Didn't really matter. There were times when I felt so hopeless and helpless. Every single time, someone helped me out. Money from some very generous individuals, a Christmas Ham from a Sunday School Class, and a baby shower for my grandson before he was born with so many gifts that they filled the back seat of two cars, one trunk and the back end of a Jeep Cherokee. I made a commitment during that time to forever more live a life of gratitude and to always be thankful for my blessings. Even when they came due to disaster and as a result of poor choices.

With that in mind, here are my
Thursday's Thankful Thoughts :

1. April 15, Paying our taxes. I know, I know. It is the popular thing to complain about taxes! Tea parties and protests abound. I, for one, am grateful to be part of the 47% who earned enough in 2009 to pay taxes. Rocket Man and I are very blessed to have meaningful work that we enjoy (well, most of the time) and to be fairly compensated for that work. I am grateful that we are making our own way, pulling our own weight and that we are contributing members of society. We make every effort to give back, not only through the paying of taxes, but also through our church giving, charitable contributions and everyday acts of kindness and generosity. So yes. Today, I am thankful that we have paid our taxes. (and anxious for our refund)

2. Remission. After over 4 years of doctors, clinics, tests and merry-go-round, I was recently diagnosed with a rare neurological condition. The testing was not always pleasant and the diseases they ruled out were even less pleasant. Thankfully, my particular ailment is treatable and after a rigorous IV Steroid treatment 8 weeks ago, I am now in remission and symptom-free. That, my friends, is something about which we are most grateful. Cautiously so, as we have no idea how long before the symptoms will return. But thankful, oh! so! thankful, for the return of physical and cognative functions! Very, very thankful.

3. Spring. Spring is a mixed blessing. In the Heart of Dixie, spring has come with a vengance this year. In fact, the teperatures here have been as much as 15 degrees above normal, more like summer than spring. Its been just plain hot. But, as I'm being thankful (maybe I'll have to post Wednesday Whinings to complain about how hot I am) We won't EVEN talk about the pollen. That would be a Wednesday Whinings post, as well. I will say that the beauty of God's earth is glorious this year. What a joy after such a bitter winter to look out the window and see all the blooming trees, shrubs and flowers. A plethora of colors assault the eyes after months of gray and darkness. For those colors and the fragrances of spring, I am indeed thankful.

So, my friends...what are you thankful for on this lovely Thursday? I would like to know.

~Mollianne

Friends

I am so thankful for my friends. It seems that there are a myriad of you and I am awed and humbled by your care, concern and nurture of me. Truly. From the bottom of my heart.

Some of you are my work buds, and what would I do without you? A cheery word word when I need it. Popping in the door to my office to check on me and just shoot some breeze. Safe places to go, sit and hide for a few minutes to escape the Merry-Go-Round. You make work fun and you make what we do very real. On those dark days when we've lost people we hold dear and are working together to help families and friends grieve loss and celebrate life, I think that our friendship and bonds come together and we are a powerful presence of love and life and God's gracious goodness. It is one of my life's honors to work and sing and laugh and cry and pray and be a part of The Church House staff alongside of you!

Some of you are my church friends and family. How dear I hold you in my heart these days. The past few years have brought such a depth of care in our small circle. Your friendship, support and prayers have helped renew my spirit and kept me going at times. We've danced with Good Neighbors, helped families in economic need, worshiped, discussed theology, doctrine and practice. We hold hands, join forces and do what needs to be done, even when we disagree or have doubts about the right way to do that, exactly. What a blessing you are in my life!

Some of you are friends from my past, reconnected through facebook. It is such a joy to know of your comings and goings again. Seeing pictures of spouses, children and grandchildren I've never met. Knowing that everyone has had ups and downs and most of us have grown up to be reasonable folks. We can laugh, joke and share experience through status posts, pictures and silly facebook games. I like facebook, simply because not a day goes by that there isn't something posted that makes me smile. How great is that?

Some of you are email friends. Deep and serious debate, discussion, pondering, mentoring, sharing of concerns and humor. I am so thankful for a venue to keep in touch with people for whom I care deeply, but with whom time spent together is near impossible due to distance and life circumstances. Oh! how I love your emails!

Blynda, you are a category unto yourself. You and me. Love at first sight. Who needs those SAS when we have each other? Our mission trips are among the most valued experiences of my life. Can you count the tears and anger and laughter and husbands and disasters and joys and dreams and disappointments we have shared?(That didn't come out right. NO sharing of husbands...we've lived through husbands. That sounds better!) I think not. And we are smart girls who can count a lot of things! I know that I have in you someone who would viciously fight tigers for me, anytime-anywhere. And I for you. That, my friend is rare! Who knew that we could have lived in the same state for a mere 9 months and remain best friends for the rest of our lives? You define what it means to me to be and have a friend. I adore you. By the way...your mother owes me this month's installment of 'I'll pay you to be Blyn's friend!'

Some of you transcend several of those categories, and we see each other and are intergral parts of daily life and the richness that your presence in my everyday life brings is beyond compare. I am eternally thankful for your gift of time and tears and yuks and lunches and dinners and side-by-side, face-to-face friendship. You have each rescused me more times than I can count and you are part of what makes this journey so meaningful.

Some of you are the precious mix of friend and family. Something I believe to be very rare and that I hold very dear and close to my heart. I learn such amazing things from you. I know what unconditional love is because of you. I know that when push comes to shove, you will be there. No questions asked. And not out of obligation, but because of the genuine affection that transcends family bonds and makes us blood kin as well as friends.I feel your presence beside me, though distance may separate us, with every breath I take. I love you, but I also like you! I really like you!

Of course, no list of friends would be complete without my Rocket Man. He completes me. We have such a good deal. He is my friend, but not my girl friend. Thats good, too, because he would be a terrible girlfriend! Am I right? If you know him, you are nodding and saying, "Amen!" aren't you? {I know way too many women who want their husbands to be their girlfriends. I've seldom seen it work. That editorial comment was free of charge. Back to the Rocket Man.} He is the funniest human I have ever known and even in the darkest of circumstances...and life has thrown us more than a few of those...we laugh together. He's the person I'd rather do nothing at all with, or something I don't want to do than to be anywhere else on the planet without him. After 11 years, I keep wondering if that thing is going to cross my path that makes me want to be anywhere in the world besdies where he is. Hasn't happened so far. Ask anyone. If That Rocket Man is home, I am, too. If he is working weekends, I am there with him if it is humanly possible. Just no one I'd rather be with. What a lucky Mollianne I am! He has agreed to keep this deal going for the rest of our lives.

So, to all my friends...work buds, facebook and email, church family and friends, girlfriends and guyfriends, old friends and new friends, old/new friends, family who are also friends, my BFF Blynda and my Rocket Man...from the bottom of my heart I thank you for who and what you are and what you mean to me.

You know who you are!